Transitions
“I’m Demaryius Thomas, and I’ve finally come to a decision to hang it up. I’m going to retire, and I’m going to retire a Denver Bronco… I’m happy to say I’m done–and it did me well.” This video announcement from the soft-spoken four-time Pro Bowl wide receiver came out just this past June.
This week, D.T., as he was known throughout the Broncos organization, made headlines again for different reasons. The 33-year-old was found dead in his home. He’d been experiencing seizures and other neurological effects since a serious car accident two years ago. While an official cause of death has not been announced as of this writing, his family believes he had a seizure that led to a fatal fall in the shower.
For Broncos fans it feels much longer than six years since that 2016 Super Bowl win. While Peyton Manning and Von Miller were key playmakers during that amazing season, D.T. was always a big part of the winning formula. Somewhat shy and quiet, he epitomized a team-first mentality. He seemed just as happy executing a key block as scoring a touchdown. Fans adored him when he would leap into the stands after a touchdown. He was always the first to volunteer with the Broncos Boys and Girls Club. As Manning said upon learning of his death, “D.T. was a better person than he was a player, and he was a Hall of Fame player.”
But this post isn’t about football. It’s about transitions. I heard excerpts of his retirement video played several times this past week, and just watched it again. Here are a few of the phrases that resonated deeply with me and the work we’re trying to do here at Second Rodeo. I’ve heard similar comments from lots of people who are not professional athletes.
“Leaving (foot)ball is a tough thing…there’s nothing like ball.”
When anyone has given a significant chapter of their life to something where they excelled and were recognized for their contributions, deciding when and how to walk away is an agonizing decision. Consider what D.T. and every other professional athlete who’s had to decide, “It’s time,” is giving up.
The financial rewards
Respect from the best of the best in your chosen field
Hearing a stadium full of rabid fans roar when you walk on the field, when your name is announced, when you make a great play…well, I can only imagine how that feels as I’ve never had that in my previous careers!
If you’re a sports fan, I’m sure you can think of numerous athletes who just couldn’t let go, who hung on for a season (or more) too long. Leaving something you love will invariably lead to grief, no matter how confident you are that it’s the right decision. The same is true for anyone who’s had a significant career that brought recognition and wealth. Just putting a name to this unanticipated emotion seems to be a significant step in processing the decision.
“For the past year or so, I’ve just been trying to find myself…At the end of the day, I wanted to be seen as Demaryius Thomas, not just a football player.”
D.T. knew football would be a relatively short chapter of his life, and he was working to make sure he never confused what he did with who he was. I’m not sure about his process, but he mentioned this twice in his announcement.
The ancient Greek aphorism to know thyself is not a “one and done” exercise. It’s a never-ending practice. We are all a work in progress. Understanding how I am evolving and growing (or identifying where I’m stuck) is essential to discovering where I belong and how I can contribute.
Many of us are still living with decisions we made in our early twenties and now we’re at a place where we have the option to reset and re-engage. Self-awareness is how I figure out where to invest my time and energy in ways that are fulfilling to the person I’ve become, not the person I used to be.
“Everybody’s trying to figure out what’s next. (You need) people around you that can help, cause it ain’t easy.”
When a successful person transitions away from his or her primary career it creates ripples for others in that person’s immediate circle. Not everyone will be understanding of such a decision, especially when it has financial implications for them.
Finding a support team—people who appreciate you for who you are, not what you do, is key. When our clients have a spouse or partner, I encourage them to work our process as a couple. Just knowing you have people who will love you know matter what, who are willing to ask tough questions, and who will celebrate your next chapter with you makes the journey a bit easier.
It saddens me that Demaryius Thomas never had a chance to pursue his Second Rodeo. A man of faith, everything about his off-field life suggests that he understood how something outside himself could be even more fulfilling that fame and fortune. Who knows what kind of contribution he would have made after a stellar football career?
And for me, his passing is a catalyst to recommit to my own calling of guiding others to discover an even better, more significant life the second time around. I hope you’ll be in touch to discuss your own next steps.
(Note: I’ll be taking a writing break during the Christmas holidays and will be back in early January with new and useful content to support the pursuit of your own Second Rodeo.)
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