Ambition
“What is your relationship with ambition?” For several weeks now, I’ve been asking this question of clients and friends. Understanding ambition has become the focal point of my curiosity. The most common response has been, “Wow. I’ve never thought about it,” followed by a lengthy pause. A few were visibly startled by the question, a couple were even defensive.
The kinds of successful people I work with tend to assume ambition is the ultimate virtue, period. Some typical responses…
Here in America, it’s the fuel that powers the mighty economic engine of capitalism.
All the marvels of the modern world were brought about by ambitious people.
Without ambition, we’d all be like my cousin Rudy, living in his mom’s basement staying high and playing video games!
From this group, I heard nothing about the dark side of ambition.
Yet as I widened my circles on social media, I heard different perspectives. Some were from people who have drank at the fount of ambition and found it bitter. Others have kept their distance for personal reasons. Here are a few comments…
Sometimes I wish I were more of a go-getter. At the same time, the people I consider ambitious look too busy and unhappy for my comfort.
It…creates angst.
Ambition doesn’t match up with anxiety, depression, or illness
Ambition is a gateway to greed, and greed has led to the destruction of our world
It is hard, maybe impossible to balance ambition with a humane, creative, and balanced approach to life
It is not a soil in which well-being can grow
Ambition, like all things, is subject to the law of diminishing returns
If you consider ambition and success to be a zero-sum game, you’ll probably end up angry and unhappy
Ambition requires sacrifice, and ambitious people too often sacrifice relationships without considering the consequences
My own observation is that the most ambitious people I know all seem to struggle with finding contentment, relaxation, and being in the moment. I’m sure there are exceptions, I just can’t name one. So, does that make contentment the opposite of ambition? That’s the theory I’m working with at this point. If a high-capacity person desires more contentment, however you define it, coming to terms with how you perceive ambition is a great starting point.
My own analogy is that ambition is like nuclear fission within the containment of a power plant. It generates enormous heat, that in turn spins turbines and creates electricity that can provide for millions of people. It also generates waste that is incredibly dangerous if not handled and stored properly.
Looking back on the impact of my own life, as well as the lives of other ambitious people I’ve known, the results are similar–an enormous amount of good, but also substantial amounts of toxic waste that’s difficult to get rid of. As we look at a future with less dependence on fossil fuels, you’ll find enthusiastic supporters of nuclear power and ardent opponents as well, just as we see two strong reactions toward ambition.
I don’t think this a navel-gazing pursuit for armchair philosophers, but a relevant, even urgent question for each person to consider. What is my relationship to ambition? How has it served me? How has it harmed me?
Then what? Is it possible to change, especially if ambition has been the jet fuel that has propelled you to achieve great things? I’ve seen people make that shift. A rare few people seem to be able to literally “leave it at the office” and move into a new season of life as if they’ve shed a garment. The most obvious examples are when someone has a brush with death, perhaps a cancer diagnosis or survived a tragic accident. In an instant, life comes into focus.
I think there’s another way for the rest of us.
Ambition is not a problem to be solved. Nor is contentment an elusive attribute hiding from some, and in plain sight for others. I picture a continuum with these two elements held in tension. I can gauge where I am at any moment in time. Just visualizing this can allow me to see where we are at any given time and adjust accordingly. When the lure of ambition is strong, I can focus on those things that bring contentment, and vice versa.
Why is understanding your relationship to ambition crucial to a Second Rodeo? The most common scenario I hear from clients is, “I want something meaningful to do, but I want more freedom and flexibility.” Our aim is to help people customize a lifestyle that best fits them at each stage of life.
In our experience, unexamined ambition will continue to exert its unseen force on individuals, no matter how much they say they want something different. Too many people have started another chapter with good intentions about “keeping it simple” or “slowing things down” only to look up a couple of years down the road and ask, “What happened? This is not what I wanted.”
All I’m asking is, are your actions in line with your intentions? If you want to continue to run full throttle until the day you die, please proceed. And if you see that your ambition has also left a trail of collateral damage, and you long for a life that is both significant and fulfilling, then know we’re here to support you in your journey of discovery.
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